Haiku Ambulance

A little weekend menswear on Saturday.

Complete with a pompadour/ducks ass. All apologies for not taking a picture of the back of my hair. But I’ll do it again, so don’t be too sad.

As it is was the weekend, I didn’t do any detail shots. Except of my nails. But they have a story behind them.

Well, we are going to the mall. So I’ll leave you with this taste and be back later with more.

Enjoy your Sunday, friends.

Ok, well it’s now Tuesday and I have returned!!

Let’s pick up where we left off, shall we?

Bottom Up:

Shoes: Urban Outfitters

(They’re there now. And I got them 20% with a super email coupon. They are very comfortable.)

Jeans: Forever21

(Their pants fit me well and are typically less than $20. I’ve had these for a whiiiile and they are just fine. Just fine.)

Shirt: Thrifted GAP

(Pretty much just a long sleeved shirt that can go with anything. Great to have a thing or two like this.)

Suspenders: Thrifted

(These are very very tiny. But all the suspenders I acquire, break almost immediately, which is not at all awesome.)

Necklace: Thrifted

(Ooooooooh, the circle of life! I bought this at the ARC, wore this to the ARC {as you will learn below} and then I broke it at the ARC. At least all 83,298,347,563,278 beads didn’t explode onto the tile floor.)

Ah, well- onto lunch!

These are my nails pointing to the delicious Nitorogen Milk Shake (with Jim Beam) that I ordered.

I painted my nails like that because of this:

Typically, I could guarantee you that you would never ever not on your life see me with nail art.

But this- I wanted.

However, my orange looked pretty much like her orange in real life. Even though I don’t have pointy witch fingernails. Ahem.

My shake. Strawberry mint. Yeah, it was fucking delicious.

His shake. Nutella with toasted marshmallow. It was a good second.

They came from H Burger Co downtown.

Oh yeah, and then we went to the ARC (a different one than mine, though) and seriously considered buying this ugly piece of garbage:

And that, my friends, was Saturday.

True.

That’s why I have no hesitation is stating the following:

I hate peplum.

I hate the word. I hate the look.

It makes. Me. Cringe.

If you aren’t familiar with Ms. Peplum, allow me to introduce her:

Hi. That looks terrible.

Wow. Your fanny pack matches your skirt to the T!

Oh, it’s not a fanny pack? Is it an accident?

Is it a built in napkin? Place mat? Will you be Bull Fighting later?

Oh dear. Oh no. Please, no.

Oh hey, I ordered you an unnecessary extra 8 inches to your waist. Looks great, though.

Delicately define my waist? But that’s why I got the curtains…

Hi, miss? Can I get a McCallan 12 on the- oh, you’re not our server? Sorry, I thought for sure that was an apron.

So that’s how I feel. And it’s everywhere these days because we’re bringing the eighties back. The eighties. The eighties?!

And am I the only one that is reminded of such items as these?:

Yeah. I didn’t think I was alone there.

I will say, however (and kindly let me know if I shouldn’t post these) that one lady that actually CAN pull off peplum, is one of my favorite ladies to read about. Her name is Karla and there is something about her that makes really offensive eighties silhouettes look incredibly charming and sexy. I have no idea how she does it, but she does:

So, until I am convinced otherwise, please- turn the peplum volume down unless your name is Karla.

Thank you in advance.

We’re definitely figuring it out.

Although, if it’s cloudy, I have no idea what we’ll do.

I realized I never take my sweaters off. It’s still Winter, you know!

And, I think (I hope!) I am getting better with the details. But that’s just me.

From the bottom up:

Shoes: Seychelles via Zappos

(Seychelles is (are?) amazing.)

Leggings: Target

(Quelle Suprise, non? A girl can’t have enough leggings, and at $6 a pop at Target, that just can’t be beat. Plus, they’re long which is wonderful! I like to tuck them in like this.)

Romper: Forever21

(Morals aside, Forever21 is great. And typically when it comes to fashion, my morals are missing. But this is a great piece to transition from Winter to Spring. I can feel like I’m sort of cheating the system, when in fact I have thick, thick leggings on.)

Sweater: Thrifted Target

(Obviously I wore this yesterday. But I feel like it is more than appropriate to wear the same cardigan more than once, right? Its main purpose is warmth, so I don’t have millions of options. And again, if this bothers you- I will probably never find out, so, sorry about that.)

Necklace: Gift

(This was given to me by a friend who actually had a mutual friend of ours literally give it to me, unwrapped. It was a very strange little event, and I don’t wear it that often. Again, trying to lose my fear of jewelry. The stones look like rose quartz and are much pinker in person.)

Nails: Maybelline Pie In the Sky

(Um, yesterday I went to Walgreens and saw Maybelline’s limited edition cupcake collection. I love cornflower blue and that’s what it is. And that’s why I bought it.

I may have reservations about accessories, but bold nails I can pull the trigger on.)

Scent: Pacifica French Lilac Solid Perfume

(They’re candles are some of my favorites. Tahitian Gardenia, oh lord! And they just (or maybe a long time ago, I really don’t know) came out with a fragrance collection of their ever-popular candles. I found this at Whole Foods of all places, and it was like 8 bucks. For a one-note scent, it’s great. Smells just like the real thing- and lilacs are my faavvvvvvorite.)

Now, I saved this one for last because I actually wasn’t going to post it.

I took this by myself this morning, and the angle my phone was at… kind of made me look like I should be in a hip hop video. Or about to punch you in the face. I think its kind of hilarious.

God, I’m tough.

Enjoy your weekends. I’m sure you’ll hear from me before they come anyway.

It has been consistently freezing here for weeks now.

Joe split.

We hope he’s found sunny skies and sandy beaches.

Maybe not sandy beaches. He could mistake the sand for seed and then he would turn into a sandbag and couldn’t fly.

We also hope that he’ll be back after his leave of absence.

If you see him, tell him hello.

And of course:

Any favorites?

I wish they all could win.

Yeah, living and learning! Look at that lighting!

Unfortunately, it seems that even a matter of perhaps 12 inches drastically impacts the quality of the light.

Also, that little space in front of the door is so narrow that I don’t think Ryan could even get a full shot there.

Ah well, we shall continue to experiment!

Same goes for the details. I’m having a bit of a struggle on my own, so maybe Ryan will have to get a little more involved than he probably cares to.

From the bottom up:

Shoes: Thrifted Bandolinos

(From the ARC. I typically have terrible luck with vintage shoes. But somehow, Bandolino’s consistently fit me perfectly and are just all-around good guys. This is the first time I have worn them with socks. It makes me a little sick that I did that, and that I wore tights with peeps yesterday. So what? Who cares? {a la fred armison, a la joy behar})

Socks: Target

(Not too much about these socks. They’re grey and I thought I could rock them as bobby socks, but I’m nervous. Maybe in the future.)

Trousers: Thrifted Levis

(That’s right, these are Levis. I included a terrible picture of the little tag that you probably couldn’t read even if you saw them in person. But there’s your proof. Unfortunately, the pictures don’t do justice to just how high they really are. The top of the waist falls 2 inches under my bra. Why do the proportions look so off to me in the pictures?)

Wife-beater: Target

(Am I the only one that refers to these as wife-beaters still? Great.)

Cardigan: Thrifted Target!

(You may not believe me, but I do have things in my closet that don’t come from the thrift store or from Target. But I also have this item which could negate any non- thrift/target items. Geez.)

Necklace: Thrifted

(There was a time when I thought I really needed more accessories. I came home with things like this, and they turn into things that don’t make it out the front door. I’m trying to give them some action and get over my accessorphorbia.)

Head wrap: Rodarte for Target

(Call it brilliant, or call it criminal, but this is the belt for the dress I bought from the Rodarte for Target collection. I prefer the dress with different belts anyway, so if you hate me for this- Um, I’ll probably never know, so… great.)

Nails: Maybeline _____ (I’ll find out at home)

(No one does this, so I’m gonna do it. And maybe it will motivate me to change my polish more often. Seeing as I am not the manipedi type. I mean, I have thrift stores and Targets who really need my money.)

Scent: English Leather

(I love this stuff. My Dad used to wear it, and I will probably love it forever. It smells like cowboys and chivalry and I think its just one of the sexiest things a woman can wear.)

So that’s today. And I wanted to say that upon reflection, not one of the images properly conveys the color of my trousers.